Private message to Effs

[alt_hydra]

Just so you know, I'm not angry or cross about what you told me. I suppose I'm feeling anxious about the fact that you have so many more secrets than I ever imagined.

I've only recently discovered secrets, you see. I was used to never having them at all, because I couldn't have them. But I never had anyone to talk to, either. Not until I... met someone. And I talked to him about how I felt about everything, and it was such a relief to have someone listen. I even came to care for him, in a way, and I thought he cared, too - but it turned out that he was only pretending, and he wanted to use me to help him do awful things.

So I thought I would never find someone to talk to again, not like I could with him. I even missed him a little, even after all that he did. And then I met you, and you were real and you were - well, I thought you were just who you appeared to be.

But now I know that it's far more complicated than that. And I've just realised that your decision to stay makes a lot more sense, in light of what you told me.

I just want to know... you didn't want to get to know me, to get close to me, because of who I am - because of what she did - did you?

And also, are there any other surprises coming? About you, I mean.

Comments

[alt_justin]

I hope I never have to lie to you, Dux, but...well, I suppose I should say that that's not the same thing as there being things I don't tell you. But I shouldn't want to keep something from you that would harm you by not knowing, what? Does that make sense?

I say, it's rather like the difference between a white lie and a thumper, if you follow me.

I've not made it secret that I've made several other friends, though. And I've not made it secret that some of my other friends also knew what I told you back in April, over hols. It stands to reason that they might also entrust confidences to me that I'm not at liberty to share, what? But I hope you'll be able to learn them for yourself, soon enough. I can't say with any certainty when, though.

Why should he owe me? I don't follow.

And no, I don't think you so unnatural as to want anything to do with matricide, what? I only hope you don't hate me for saying I shan't hesitate if I get the chance. But I promise you I know how dangerous a task it would be and I shan't go looking for the opportunity, what?

All my heart,

-Justin

[alt_hydra]

You don't have to explain to me the difference between a lie and withholding the truth, and the usefulness and even necessity of the latter (and maybe even both). But, it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt a little.

If I can just feel hurt for a while then I'll feel better faster.

He owes you because you would be living a safer and more benign life if it wasn't for him. I know you wouldn't trade it, and neither would I. But even in helping you, he didn't have to tell you who he was as much as he did. But it's over and done with and now there's no going back.

I don't hate you, but I hate that you think you could do that.

From,
Hydra

[alt_justin]

I know. And of course you can do!

And I'm sorry to be the cause of it.

-J