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I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good
Sally Anne and I paid Professor Dolohov a visit yesterday afternoon. We said I wanted to do some summer reading on poisons and antidotes and asked to borrow some books. Well, that's what Sally Anne says we asked him - I don't actually remember the conversation at all, I only remember what I saw when I legilimised him.
First off, it's hard to me to say whether what I saw were his actual memories, or things he was just imagining. I don't really know how to tell the difference. There are a few I am fairly sure are actual memories because they seemed to have a lot of emotion attached to them.
One of them is about some of us. He does remember hexing and duelling us, and he feels horrified about it. I saw me and Justin and Sally Anne, and the masks we were wearing were flickering like candlelight, which doesn't mean that the masks were actually flickering, I think it's just the moment where he figured out who we were. I don't think he realises that Hermione was the other one he hexed, though.
And then there's a part that wasn't a memory, I think, but imagining. He petrified Sally Anne and took off her mask and said "what are you doing here?"
So, he wants to know what we were doing.
And then I saw some imaginings about Hector and Arista - running through the forest, hiding under a bed and inside a cupboard. Disappearing into a door in the floor. I think he's desperate to know what we did with them. But even so, I could feel that he doesn't want to ask, because he doesn't want to act on what the answer is. It didn't stop him from thinking about it more, though. He wondered if they might be at Pansy's house, or somewhere at Malfoy Manor.
Then it changed a bit and became more solid, into a memory. He had his wand outstretched and Mr Selwyn was on the ground in front of him. He felt very powerful and cruel and he liked it. I think he was cruciating Mr Selwyn, maybe worse. Only it was strange because there was regret there, too. I don't know how someone can feel regretful and powerful and cruel all at once but he did. And Mr Selwyn was gasping and in pain and could barely speak, but he managed to and he said that he would give Professor Dolohov his library, that he was the best person to have his books, and then he asked him, if he could, to protect his children, to not let them pay for his mistakes. And then Professor Dolohov told him that the best way to protect his children was to cooperate. Mr Selwyn sort of turned away and closed his eyes, then, like he was waiting for it to start all over again.
And the whole time, the Lord Protector's new horrible face would sort of float into the vision, but then it would go away. And sometimes I would see it and hear Mr Selwyn's voice at the same time, saying that "we're all playthings to be broken." I think Professor Dolohov is trying not to think about the Lord Protector and what Mr Selwyn said.
Well, it was really an awful lot more confusing than I've just made it sound, but that's how I've made sense of it. Also, somewhere in there he thought about how he had to use the loo, but I don't think that's important.
First off, it's hard to me to say whether what I saw were his actual memories, or things he was just imagining. I don't really know how to tell the difference. There are a few I am fairly sure are actual memories because they seemed to have a lot of emotion attached to them.
One of them is about some of us. He does remember hexing and duelling us, and he feels horrified about it. I saw me and Justin and Sally Anne, and the masks we were wearing were flickering like candlelight, which doesn't mean that the masks were actually flickering, I think it's just the moment where he figured out who we were. I don't think he realises that Hermione was the other one he hexed, though.
And then there's a part that wasn't a memory, I think, but imagining. He petrified Sally Anne and took off her mask and said "what are you doing here?"
So, he wants to know what we were doing.
And then I saw some imaginings about Hector and Arista - running through the forest, hiding under a bed and inside a cupboard. Disappearing into a door in the floor. I think he's desperate to know what we did with them. But even so, I could feel that he doesn't want to ask, because he doesn't want to act on what the answer is. It didn't stop him from thinking about it more, though. He wondered if they might be at Pansy's house, or somewhere at Malfoy Manor.
Then it changed a bit and became more solid, into a memory. He had his wand outstretched and Mr Selwyn was on the ground in front of him. He felt very powerful and cruel and he liked it. I think he was cruciating Mr Selwyn, maybe worse. Only it was strange because there was regret there, too. I don't know how someone can feel regretful and powerful and cruel all at once but he did. And Mr Selwyn was gasping and in pain and could barely speak, but he managed to and he said that he would give Professor Dolohov his library, that he was the best person to have his books, and then he asked him, if he could, to protect his children, to not let them pay for his mistakes. And then Professor Dolohov told him that the best way to protect his children was to cooperate. Mr Selwyn sort of turned away and closed his eyes, then, like he was waiting for it to start all over again.
And the whole time, the Lord Protector's new horrible face would sort of float into the vision, but then it would go away. And sometimes I would see it and hear Mr Selwyn's voice at the same time, saying that "we're all playthings to be broken." I think Professor Dolohov is trying not to think about the Lord Protector and what Mr Selwyn said.
Well, it was really an awful lot more confusing than I've just made it sound, but that's how I've made sense of it. Also, somewhere in there he thought about how he had to use the loo, but I don't think that's important.
no subject
And maybe it won't matter. I mean, maybe I won't have done well enough. But if I do, then I'll have to figure out what to tell Mum. It would be easier if I could still just talk to Dad about this sort of thing. But, yeah.
no subject
I wrote to him today to ask about the NEWT class. Madam Pomfrey thought this would be a good time to drop it.
He said, hang on.
'My NEWT classes are a departure from OWL-level classes. Over the two-year curriculum, we explore ritual and cooperative magic, cursed and magic-infused objects (the making, safe handling, and disposal thereof), warding, runework, and certain non-Western traditions, in addition to delving more deeply into the history and theory of the Noble Arts than we have had time to do thus far this year. In addition to that, though, I will also be teaching fundamental and underlying skills that should serve you in excellent stead in your future endeavours no matter what they might be: logic, rhetoric, how to perform research, how to evaluate sources, and how to compose an argument (and evaluate and refute an incorrect argument put forth by others).'
So here's the thing. NO ONE ELSE teaches ANYTHING about most of this. We do a little bit in runes with objects and in Charms we'll learn the Protean Charm but not much else about objects. No one else talks about ritual and cooperative magic, and that's what the Fidelius Charm is, you know, I looked it up. Acton isn't going to cover it, or anything like it. It's not even remotely Dark Arts but I bet Dolohov would, if we asked him -- though not this week because the absolutely LAST thing I need is to get him thinking about precisely what secrets I might want to magically hide. Although probably he'd figure we wanted to hide Arista and Hector really, really, really well.