Order Only - Private message to Justin

Bother, but I'm knackered. I'm sorry I didn't write you back the other night, but this council witch is in high demand, it would seem. On Sunday evening I went to 12G to talk to Harry, Draco, and Hermione about how to best proceed with Seamus and Padma, and then on Monday I was invited out to Blackmoor Park for lunch with Nanella and Pascoal. Nanella said it was to celebrate my "achievement," but I think she mostly wanted to fret to someone about Auntie Narcissa and Uncle Lucius. And then, yesterday, I ran the course at Ouroboros with Barty Crouch, Jr, at his request. Or it might have been order. And I'm a member of the club now, as well. Auror Crouch wasn't particularly forthcoming but I gathered that he's offered to train me, or some such, or else Mummy asked him to. I'm not sure which.

To answer your question about my magic, I have noticed some new things. The spells that I keep on my journal were a bit fiddly at first, and the wards I have on my doors to keep Rigel out, as well. They seem fine now, I just had to re-cast them. But in almost all other respects, I feel a bit more powerful. I don't know if I am more powerful but it feels that way. And while I could hardly keep up with Auror Crouch yesterday, I have no idea if I did better than he expected, or worse. Actually, neither of us spoke much, and his thoughts are quite obscure, as well. It seems as if he's trying to think about what you might be thinking about, in a sort of anticipatory way, and it feels a lot like falling into a warped mirror.

He didn't go easy on me. When I came home I fell straight into bed. It probably didn't help that we ran the course twice, and had a one-on-one duelling session, plus some other exercises in-between.

Today's been just as packed. I spent it with Mummy. After we had lunch we went to her office and she wanted to talk about Harry. She said that being a council witch means looking out for the good of the Protectorate at all times, and that such vigilance sometimes requires looking at those we're closest to with careful scrutiny. She spoke of how Draco surprised us all, by being wrapped up with a 'filthy mudblood,' and that it served as a sharp reminder of how no one is infallible except the Lord Protector himself. She believes that Sirius Black and his cohort are doing all they can to draw Harry into their fold, and that Draco was their avenue to get to Harry.

And then she told me that I'm to spy on Harry.

She didn't put it like that, exactly. It was more "it's your duty to keep an eye on Harry at all times."

The strange thing is that she told me very clearly that I shouldn't try to direct Harry's behaviour in any way, that I should simply observe him closely, particularly who he talks to and spends time with, and to let her know if he interacts with anyone "unknown or unusual." I'm also to legilimise him at my own discretion, and to note any "new or alarming patterns" in his thinking.

By the end of the conversation I was left with the impression that both she and the Lord Protector believe Harry to be loyal, but they're expecting him to be targeted the same way they think Draco was. I think she may be hoping that Harry can be used as bait to draw out Sirius and Snape and catch them.

On one hand, it's good that they are assuming Harry is more or less loyal. On the other, it's bad that they want me to spy on him. What will they say when I can't deliver them anything of substance? Will they start to look at me suspiciously, too?

And now I have to think of how to present this to everyone else, to say nothing of Harry himself.

I'd rather sit around and daydream about being Mrs Finch-Fletchley, you know.

But it does make a difference, and it does help. It reminds me of who I really am in those moments when I need to be someone I'm not.