alt_hydra / Entries tagged with tom

I received a package from my mother this morning. It was a surprise to me, because she never sends me anything, not really. It was a book on field legilimency and interrogation techniques, which is I suppose her way of saying that I ought to be practising. Maybe Lana Sandoval-Pennifold told her that I legilimised Vince and Greg for one of the challenges, or perhaps she just thought to send it on her own. I'm not sure. There wasn't a letter included.

Anyway, the book is interesting, and confirms much of what I always suspected about Mummy. From a very young age I noticed how, when she had conversations with others, Mummy would bring up certain subjects out of the blue. A table of people might be discussing fashion, or theatre, and Mummy would suddenly go quite off topic, mentioning the name of a dissenter that MLE was questioning, or something else related to the Protectorate and loyalty.

Well, it turns out that this is actually a subtle interrogation technique known as "poaching." The theory behind it is that you get someone comfortable and talking about everyday things, then you introduce "trigger words" when they least expect it. In most cases, the subject will not have time to occlude and will have an immediate thought related to the "trigger word," without being able to stop from doing so.

To give an example of how it might work, imagine that you're talking with someone about school-work and they unexpectedly mention that they just read the newly released, proper version of Pure Victory. They didn't even ask you a question, you see, so you're not necessarily on guard. And before you could verbalise your response, you might think the word "rubbish," or even visualise yourself reading the original Pure Victory and enjoying it very much. So without even asking you a question, the legilimens who is poaching you has a sense of how the topic of Pure Victory makes you feel.

I know it sounds scary, being "poached," but there are probably only two people who can do it. Voldemort and my mother. And maybe me, if I can practise it. I would like other people to practise on besides Justin, so if anyone trusts me and would like to volunteer, please let me know.

Fortunately, most of you will never have to make polite chit-chat with either Voldemort or my mother, but for those of you who do or will, working with me might be a good way to practise occluding, too.

I went to my Aunt and Uncle's today, and I spent time with Justin. He told me about your group, and your secret way of communicating, and that you had all decided I could be a part of it.

I really hope that this is as protected as Justin says it is. I suppose if it weren't, something awful would have happened by now, but I can't help but feel cautious anyway. I didn't even want to write this inside St James, so I'm out in the garden.

I've had a difficult time trying to think of a secret that would be worth sharing, and equal to what the rest of yours must be. The truth is that I haven't done anything very rebellious or risky. I usually do what I'm told. But sometimes I do other things to counter-act what I've just been told to do. I don't know if that really makes sense, but sometimes it seems like the only option that there is. Like the time Mummy asked me to cosy up to my cousin, Mrs Ponds, the only thing I could think to do was ask Sally Anne if she could give Mrs Ponds a warning that Mummy might be investigating her. I didn't know I was an occlumens then, though, and I thought that Mummy would always know if I lied to her. Well, I've lied to her loads since then, and she hasn't figured it out yet. So that's something.

So I suppose the other things I've done you already know about. I know that Justin is a muggleborn, and that he knew Sirius Black, and I could have told people those things but I didn't. And knowing who he was didn't change my feelings about him, either.

But I still don't know if that's enough, since you already knew those things. And I'm used to people being a little wary of me, because of who Mummy is, and because of what happened to me in my first year. So some of you, those of you who don't know me very well, might be afraid that I'll take everything I know and turn right around and tell everything to Mummy. It would make her so very happy, you know.

Well, I can't stand the thought of her being happy.

So I've thought of something I can share that nobody here knows already, not even Justin. It's a long story, with a lot of details, but what it comes down to is that I once lied to the Lord Protector. We were sitting face-to-face, and he wanted to know something very desperately, but I told him I didn't know anything about it. He believed me, I think because he couldn't legilmise me, but I was lying. If he found out that I lied about something so important to him, he would kill me. I know that he would.

Is that any good at all?

far
gardens at st james

Just so you know, I'm not angry or cross about what you told me. I suppose I'm feeling anxious about the fact that you have so many more secrets than I ever imagined.

I've only recently discovered secrets, you see. I was used to never having them at all, because I couldn't have them. But I never had anyone to talk to, either. Not until I... met someone. And I talked to him about how I felt about everything, and it was such a relief to have someone listen. I even came to care for him, in a way, and I thought he cared, too - but it turned out that he was only pretending, and he wanted to use me to help him do awful things.

So I thought I would never find someone to talk to again, not like I could with him. I even missed him a little, even after all that he did. And then I met you, and you were real and you were - well, I thought you were just who you appeared to be.

But now I know that it's far more complicated than that. And I've just realised that your decision to stay makes a lot more sense, in light of what you told me.

I just want to know... you didn't want to get to know me, to get close to me, because of who I am - because of what she did - did you?

And also, are there any other surprises coming? About you, I mean.

not prepared

I thought I would be happy when the first day of classes was over but now that it is I rather wish that it wasn't.
A lot of people are so angry, and I know they have a good reason to be, but anger doesn't usually get very much done, I don't think.
People don't seem very happy in general, even though so far there's nothing bad happening this year, like a sickness or a
creature sneaking around the castle.
There are those prisoners from Azkaban still at large, but they shouldn't be able to come here because of the Dementors, and they probably don't even have wands anymore, either.
So no, there's nothing that bad happening when you look at it that way.
Maybe it's because the Dementors aren't very far away.
It was really awful on the train, I kept remembering things I wanted to forget.
I had nightmares all night last night, I kept waking up and thinking I was back ~~with~~ in
a place that I don't want to ever go back to.
Cressida was cross because she said I was making noises, and it kept her awake.
I'm not much looking forward to sleep later tonight.
Does anyone know of the Matron will give out dreamless sleep potions, if you have a very good reason for needing one?

shake
corner

Dear Lord,

I'm so sorry that I haven't written to You in some time.
I was very busy with some obligations, such as visiting friends and also my family's holiday to the seaside.
I had a very nice time, and ~~Mother sai~~ it was remarkable to see how rich and wonderous life is in even the far reaches of Your Kingdom.
I've been thinking about You, though, and ~~the lovely time~~ how we spent the last afternoon that we had tea at Buckingham.

I might have told You before, but I really think the room that You take tea in is just lovely, the chairs are so comfortable, and those scones that Your elves serve are the best that I've ever tasted.
A friend of mine said that they must be made with real butter and cream.
But besides the scones I mostly like what we talk about.
I was worried that You might be cross with me for what I said about Mother, but she really does confuse me some of the time, especially with the way that she speaks of me to other people and the way that she speaks when we're alone.
I really did think she was happy about my meetings with You, and even on our trip I heard her telling the locals about it, almost boasting.
But in private she doesn't seem quite as happy about it.

Thank You so much for listening, I know that You have so much more important things to think about than what is going on with a school girl like me.
And thank You for not laughing when I told You how I felt about Tom.
He didn't laugh, either, when I told him, and I appreciated it very much.
~~Are You~~ ?
Sometimes I miss him.
I don't know how to tell anyone else that without them thinking that I'm a nutter.

School will start soon, and I feel ready, I think.
I might have new friends, and if not, there's always Harry and Draco and Pansy.
And Tevis, too.
I wish there were a way to keep up our tea times together.
Maybe if You still want to have one sometime, You could come to the school, because they'll probably let You do what You want there, I think.
They already let Uncle Lucius do what he wants, so of course they'll let You.
There's more I'd like to talk about someday, if we can.
It's probably silly, but when we were at the cottage I just wondered some things, like if You ever took holidays, and if so where, and what sort of things You liked to do when You were my age.
I know You're so busy and probably don't think about those days any more, ever.
It's just that if You ever wanted to, You could.
With me, I mean.

From,
Hydra

confiding
my bedroom

Dear Sir,

I hope that it's alright that I've chosen to write You here instead of using an owl.
I've been thinking for days of what I need to tell You and I wrote it down on a piece of parchment first so that I won't miss anything or ramble about something that might not be interesting or important.
First, You wanted to know what I told Tom about You and the Protectorate, and I already told You all that I could remember.
And it was true, I really did go on an awful lot to him about New London and how wonderful it is, and all of the statues of You, and how the air is cleaner now and wizard-kind is much safer now that muggles are strictly controlled.
Tom was very happy about that.
But what I didn't tell You was that he was very happy with everything...except he didn't like that there were muggles still around at all.
I know that I should have told You that face to face, but it was such a difficult thing to say, I hope You understand.
I find it much easier to write down difficult things.
What Tom said was that the muggle and mudblood filth should be stamped out of England, and especially from Hogwarts, and that he thought You would have taken care of them by now, and that he hoped You hadn't turned soft.
He said that no one can control filth, they can only get rid of it, the way they would get rid of any other rubbish.
That's what he said, but I didn't agree with him and I told him that I thought You had done everything just right because it made the most amount of people happy.
It was so confusing sometimes, though, because he seemed to know so much about You, even though he was from ages and ages ago.
The way he spoke of You, it was almost as if he saw himself as Your ~~Mothe~~ parent.
Sometimes what he said about You made me so upset that I would be cross with him, and I would refuse to speak to Him for a while.
I even tried to flush him down a loo one time.
But then I decided that maybe he didn't mean to be insulting, because Hogwarts really did mean so much to him, he was always asking me about my teachers and classes, and wanted to hear all about my classmates, and also about Draco and Harry.
Especially Harry.
But he seemed to remember everything about the school, and knew ever so much more about its secret passages and hidden nooks than I ever could.
That's why I let him come over me, that first time.
He had shown me what Hogwarts looked like when he was a student, and I wanted to show him what it looked like now, when I was a student.
And then, when he starting taking me over more often, I wouldn't know that he was doing it until something big happened, like when Dennis fell over like a piece of stone, or when Tully ~~was~~ died.
He was so very powerful, my Lord, and he wasn't even a man yet.
Do you think that Harry really killed him?
It didn't seem like anything in the whole wide world could, but if there were one thing that could, it would make sense that it was Your son.

I didn't tell Mummy what Tom said about You.
I'm sure that she would punish me dreadfully for saying such evil words, even if they weren't my own.
She's already so unhappy with me for keeping secrets, even though I swore to her that I wasn't trying to.
Did You say something to her about it?
I don't want to ~~preso~~ presume but she seemed to act differently after our last meeting, like she was leaving it all to You now and would stop questioning.
~~Thank you~~

I'm also wanted to write so that I could tell You that I very much apologise for being so jumpy the first few times we had tea.
Only I didn't know what to expect, and I thought that it must surely mean that I was in trouble.
But you were just
It was just like
But now I would just very much like to serve You and please You, so if we have tea again sometime before I go back to Hogwarts, I would like that.

From,
Hydra

grateful
garden

I would like to very much apologise for the trouble that I have caused my family, my classmates, my Professors, my Headmistress, and my Lord Protector.
I would especially like to apologise to the people who were petrified.
And to Draco, because of Dennis.
None of it was my idea and I never wanted any of it to happen, and I'm very sorry that it did happen.
I would have stopped it if I could, but I didn't know how and
I wasn't always myself.
But I knew something was wrong and I never told anyone, and I was very bad and naughty to keep secrets.
My Daddy is a specialist in cursed objects and my Mummy is an Auror and I should have known not to play about with a book that could think for itself.
Thank you for reading and I hope that you have a nice day and a nice summer.

shake
here

Last night I caught Cressida looking through my things.
Not just looking for a piece of parchment on my desk but trying to open the trunk in my wardrobe.
So I hexed her and now her fingers are swollen up like sausages and she was crying in the night because it hurt.
She couldn't even hold her wand to hex me back, and I think she wanted Norma to do it but Norma wouldn't.
She gave Cressida a salve, instead.
I don't know that it worked that well because at breakfast just now Cressida kept dropping her fork.
Maybe she didn't think I knew that she was the one who stole Tex so long ago.
But I knew and I didn't forget, and I don't want her stealing anything of mine ever again.
Maybe it was a little bit mean to hex her, but Mummy would have done it and ~~so would~~ probably a long time ago, too.
And then I got a parcel from Daddy this morning, so I think it will be a very good day!

this
breakfast time

I had a lovely time at the party the other night.
The attic at Hogwarts is bigger than the one at L'Estrange Hill, but less spooky.
That might just be because it was filled with people and music and lights, though.
I didn't realise that some people had got lost on their way to the party and then never made it.
If I had known, I might've tried to help.
I got lost too, I think I took the wrong staircase, or else a staircase moved when I was in the middle of taking it.
Either way I ended up somewhere I wasn't supposed to.
I always thought that students liked to snog in the darkest parts of the dungeon, but I guess there are other places to go, too.
I was surprised, though, because I didn't think that these two students liked each other, much.
He's always been a little rude to her from what I've seen.
But secretly, their feelings must be different.
I wonder if that's true for anybody else?
A legilimens would know for sure.
But isn't there a saying that if a boy is mean to a girl, that means he likes her?
Does anyone know if that's true?
I remember that Mummy once told me that Daddy was rude to her sometimes, before they were sweethearts, and she didn't like it but at least it meant he was worthy.

hoping
for breakfast

I haven't been home in such a long time.
Sometimes it feels as thought I might never be there again.
Daddy and I had a firechat last night.
He says that Rigel has six teeth, and knows how to use all of them.
We talked about the books he sent me over Christmas, but I don't know if I understand them very well.
I always thought working with cursed objects must be easier than being an Auror, but now I'm not so sure.
There's all sorts of cursed objects in the world, more kinds than we could ever think up, but only one kind of Auror, and that's the kind that my Mummy is.
Nobody seems very frightened of being Cruciated anymore, I think they're more worried about being sick.
But no one is sick, are they?
If they are, they're not saying so.
I don't blame them because if I were feeling sick I wouldn't say anything, either.
There's always something to worry about here.
It must be like that in the real world, and this is just to get us all ready for it.

not bothered
lunch

Something dreadful happened on Monday.
Tully's leg was hurt.
I found him huddling behind my trunk, and his left back leg was bloody and twisted.
I took him to Professor Brutka before dinner and he fixed it, thankfully (and without removing any of the bones on accident, too).
He said that maybe the charm that protected Tully from the cats in Slytherin had wore off, so he put it on Tully again.
Tully was just so frightened when I found him and that frightened me, too.
But now he seems alright, almost as if nothing happened at all.
Maybe rabbits don't remember for very long, which could be useful sometimes and not at all at other times.
A girl from Ravenclaw wrote in her journal about how her Mummy died doing a charms experiment.
It made me afraid of doing my charms homework for a little while but then I realised I was being silly.
Still, it scares me a little to think of how Daddy works with dark, cursed objects all the time.
He's never had one of them hurt him, but what if one did?
Dark, cursed objects can do worse things to you than killing you.
I told Draco about it and he said I worry too much, and that I should play more games like imploding snap and gobstones.
So does anyone want to play gobstones in the common room tonight?
Let me know if you do.
Mummy's owl this morning wrote about how we're going to have a special guest staying with us over the holidays.
I wonder who the special guest will be?

needing a jumper
the dungeon

I have decided to join Duelling Club!
It will be every so much fun, people say, and Professor Lockhart is in charge, and people also say that he's ever so dashing, handsome, heroic, and also looks nice in purple trousers.
But beside that, it will probably be a good learning experience.
I don't know what to say about the Heir stories, except that I'm trying not to be anyones enemy, just to be on the safe side.
I do wonder about the ghost, though, because everyone said that the cat thought it belonged to Harry's mudblood, so maybe that made the cat an enemy, but why is the ghost an enemy?
Was the Gryffindor Ghost a mudblood, maybe?
I know they used to let them go to school here.
It wasn't even that long again, when you think about it.
How awful.
Tully is getting bigger everyday.
When I first got him he could fit in just one of my hands but now I have to hold him with two, and I have to hold on carefully, because he likes to wiggle.
If there's time after classes today I may see if Professor Slughorn would like to have tea with me.
I've missed chatting with him, and he is my favourite professor!

thinking of
breakfast time

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Hydra Lestrange Finch-Fletchley

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