Hydra Lestrange Finch-Fletchley

Hallo,

So - perhaps now you might tell me more about what you and Ron got up to today? I enjoy watching the impromptu quidditch matches, but it doesn't leave enough time for talking, or other things. Also, I end up with a sore bum from sitting for so long.

Daddy's just left me in my room for the night. He brought up hot cocoa and biccies and spoke to me as if I were still eight or nine. The biccies were nice, at least. Oh, and he asked about you, but I made him stop. I hope.

From,
Hydra

How is everyone feeling? We're supposed to be happy, I suppose.

I'm happy about some things, but not about others. I'm happy that the bomb in the school didn't explode. And that members of my family weren't killed. Yet I'm a rather sick at the thought of how many people who weren't involved were killed. And then there's those strange things they've said about what was done to the airport. It can't have been good.

When I was little and first heard the word "airport," I thought it was a place for ships that carried air in their cargo.

I keep thinking about odd memories like that and getting distracted. In Potions yesterday, I nearly exploded our dizziness draught by stirring in billywig eyes instead of black beetle eyes. If Remy hadn't shouted at me just as I was about to add them, we would have probably both slept in hospital wing last night. And this morning, I tried to re-read my Arithmancy notes and could barely follow them, which I suppose means I wasn't concentrating during lessons. At least I'm not the only one. I've seen a lot of people who look as if they're having trouble concentrating.

And did anyone see that Mummy said some rather unkind things to Madam Umbridge on the journals? It made me a little pleased, just for a second, but then I remembered that she doesn't really deserve that - even if she does hate kittens. And you know, if Mr Yaxley is injured that probably means that Mummy is in charge of MLE, which I'm sure she doesn't like one bit. She doesn't like having to manage people and mind little details, so it's probably driving her mental. That pleases me a little, too.

That's all. I just felt like talking to all of you.

Justin,

Oh, I've mucked things up horribly, I'm afraid.

I had my meeting with Professor Dolohov. It went well enough and then I went and said too much.

Now he's saying I'm best suited to Theoretical. Mummy's not going to like it one bit. Dadddy won't, either.

I'm not sure what to do, now.

From,
Hydra

Is anyone going to Smith's proposed water fight?

I'm not; it wouldn't be worth trying to lie around Mummy for. She doesn't ask many questions when I say I'm going to see Remy, but she would certainly ask about Smith. Especially now. Earlier this week she pointed out that I've been very neglectful of Harry and that I haven't tried hard to see him at all since CCF ended. I pointed out that he was on holiday but she acted as if that wasn't much of an excuse. So, to make her happy I told her that Harry had been confiding in me more that he used to. That's at least a little bit true, and she didn't press for details, either, so that's good.

I suppose this is where I say that when we're at school this year, I'll have to be careful about who I associate with from the lock. Of course, no one would say a thing if I spent time with Sally Anne and Pansy...also, Luna is in my year, so that makes some sense as well. And Justin and I are always careful, or try to be.

Right now I'm certainly not planning to purposefully ignore or be unkind to anyone, but if I seem a little aloof and distant, it's only because I don't want anyone to be hurt because of my parents. Because of my Mother, I mean.

I always have to be careful. She might go for months and months with scarcely a comment to me, and then, out of nowhere, unleash her disdain for something I didn't even realise she was aware of, or even cared about. And it's not because she's a legilimens. It's because she notices everything. She stores it away and saves it, and then, when she's ready, she uses it against you. I don't ever want her to be able to every use this against me, because I need it.

So, that's all. Have fun at the water fight (if you're going).

I went to my Aunt and Uncle's today, and I spent time with Justin. He told me about your group, and your secret way of communicating, and that you had all decided I could be a part of it.

I really hope that this is as protected as Justin says it is. I suppose if it weren't, something awful would have happened by now, but I can't help but feel cautious anyway. I didn't even want to write this inside St James, so I'm out in the garden.

I've had a difficult time trying to think of a secret that would be worth sharing, and equal to what the rest of yours must be. The truth is that I haven't done anything very rebellious or risky. I usually do what I'm told. But sometimes I do other things to counter-act what I've just been told to do. I don't know if that really makes sense, but sometimes it seems like the only option that there is. Like the time Mummy asked me to cosy up to my cousin, Mrs Ponds, the only thing I could think to do was ask Sally Anne if she could give Mrs Ponds a warning that Mummy might be investigating her. I didn't know I was an occlumens then, though, and I thought that Mummy would always know if I lied to her. Well, I've lied to her loads since then, and she hasn't figured it out yet. So that's something.

So I suppose the other things I've done you already know about. I know that Justin is a muggleborn, and that he knew Sirius Black, and I could have told people those things but I didn't. And knowing who he was didn't change my feelings about him, either.

But I still don't know if that's enough, since you already knew those things. And I'm used to people being a little wary of me, because of who Mummy is, and because of what happened to me in my first year. So some of you, those of you who don't know me very well, might be afraid that I'll take everything I know and turn right around and tell everything to Mummy. It would make her so very happy, you know.

Well, I can't stand the thought of her being happy.

So I've thought of something I can share that nobody here knows already, not even Justin. It's a long story, with a lot of details, but what it comes down to is that I once lied to the Lord Protector. We were sitting face-to-face, and he wanted to know something very desperately, but I told him I didn't know anything about it. He believed me, I think because he couldn't legilmise me, but I was lying. If he found out that I lied about something so important to him, he would kill me. I know that he would.

Is that any good at all?