I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good - Private Message to Justin

[alt_hydra]

Justin,

Oh, I've mucked things up horribly, I'm afraid.

I had my meeting with Professor Dolohov. It went well enough and then I went and said too much.

Now he's saying I'm best suited to Theoretical. Mummy's not going to like it one bit. Dadddy won't, either.

I'm not sure what to do, now.

From,
Hydra

Comments

[alt_justin]

Hydra,

I say, let's not be too hasty. What did he tell you, precisely?

And even if he did say it, you could still sign on for the practical section, couldn't you? He told me that he wasn't going to fuss if people ignored his recommendations.

If you were in the theory and I were in the practical that would be the height of irony, what?

-Justin

[alt_hydra]

I can still take Practical, yes, and I'm sure that my parents will insist on it. He even said that, that he expected they would not want me in Theoretical. But now he has this impression of me that I'm not suited for the Practical, and I don't know how I can change that impression.

It's because I said I wouldn't perform curses that hurt animals or other helpless creatures.

I shouldn't have said that, I should have kept quiet. Or maybe I ought to have told him that I was listed "Most Likely to Kill You With Dark Arts."

From,
Hydra

[alt_justin]

I think it's good that you told him you're unwilling to harm creatures that can't fight back, what?

I do think it's troubling if that's really what made him say you're unsuited. He told me we'd never be casting spells without the target's consent. But he could well have been exaggerating, what, or perhaps he's stretching his definition of what counts as a sentient target.

I suppose the real question is, which would you rather do, Dux? Theory or practice?

And should you decide to take the practical section, anyway, I think the way to change his idea of you is to show him how bally well effective you can be when you feel it justified.

-J

[alt_hydra]

I don't know what else I could have make him think I was unsuited. I told him that I was interested in being an Unspeakable, and that it was something Mummy was interested in me doing, as well. I told him that my best subjects were Runes, Charms, and Defense, and that my first year of Dark Arts was quite easy, because it was mostly things that I had already learned about from Daddy. I told him that I thought it was an important subject, and that everyone ought to learn it if only for knowledge and defense, and that's when I added the part about animals.

It was after that he said that if I were any other student, he would counsel me toward Theoretical because it was more focused on defense. I never said that I was only interested in the defensive part, but I must have made it sound that way without meaning to.

He didn't really allow me to say anything more after that. He just said he would leave the decision to me, but that if I wanted to take Theoretical he was willing to convince Mummy it was the best option. He must not really remember what Mummy is like, or else he's much more intimidating than he looks...

From,
Hydra

[alt_justin]

Hm.

I think, perhaps, it's the opposite problem to the one you normally have, what? I mean to say, most people have only heard of your parents and know their reputations and so they don't bother to look at you for yourself, if you follow me. They just assume you're a bally old dark practitioner as well.

But it sounds as if Professor Dolohov listened to what you were saying (he does listen, what, and quite attentively at that) and it seems like he may have seen the way you are--I mean to say, the way you hold yourself and the way you look while you're thinking, the way you touch your hair and all that--and perhaps he saw that while you can cast quite dangerous spells, it's counter to your nature, in a way.

I say, I thought when he interviewed me that perhaps he was a Legilimens. I know it oughtn't to matter in your case, what, but perhaps he does have spells or other instruments in his office that help him read a person's personality.

Did you eat or drink anything he offered? I didn't. I was too afraid it'd be like the stuff Ron said Director Selwyn gave everyone, to make them prattle on about any old thing. But perhaps he's got a detector of some sort. So one can't hide one's true attitudes toward the dark arts.

I say, that's not very comforting, what? Right, forget I suggested that.

-J

[alt_hydra]

I don't think he's a Legilimens, I probably would have heard if he was, but he is probably very good at reading people in other ways. I did sense that he might've been trying to keep the atmosphere relaxed during our meeting. He didn't look at my face very often, and he spoke into his teacup more than in my actual direction. I suppose what I mean to say is that he didn't appear to be watching me very closely. But it doesn't mean that he wasn't.

I didn't eat or drink, no. And even if he does have a detector...my true attitude toward the Dark Arts is that I think I should know them. If he has instruments they're not reading me right.

Maybe he thinks I wouldn't be able to hex him if he had the fourth-years do it like he did with your class. I really wouldn't have a problem with that at all, though. He isn't helpless in the least, even if he does like to act as if he's in pain.

From,
Hydra

[alt_justin]

Then I think we've found the problem: He's just rubbish at reading people, what?

The first time you have a chance to hex him, he'll realise his mistake was underestimating you. And in overestimating me, he'll realise that soon enough as well.

Or else it was a trick. Terry did say that we're supposed to watch out for him twisting our thinking all round into knots.

At any rate, I think if you think it's important to learn how to cast them, then you ought to take the Practical and hang what he has to say about it.

-J

[alt_hydra]

If it's a trick, I think it might be one that's meant to make me show him what I'm really all about. Because if I choose Practical, it will say one thing about me, and if I choose Theoretical, it will say something else.

Maybe there's a way to do it so that I don't have to choose at all. So that he doesn't know what I choose, I mean.

From,
Hydra

[alt_justin]

What's going on in that head of yours, then, Dux?

-J

[alt_hydra]

I don't know just yet, but hopefully I will by breakfast. I'll tell you then.

You're birthday's coming up, you know. Have you thought at all about what sort of celebration you'd like?

From,
Hydra

[alt_justin]

My birthday?

It's not for a month, Dux. I...hadn't thought about it yet. I suppose another party, perhaps in that same little room, with our friends.

Or just time with you, what? That would be even better.

All right, go and be mysterious. Perhaps you'll dream of a solution. It's happened before, what!

Sweet dreams, love.

-J

[alt_hydra]

A month is loads of time if you're Draco or Harry and have all the pocket money you could ever want. I don't, but I'd like to do something special for you just the same. So consider this an early notice to start thinking about it now.

Goodnight!

Love,
Hydra