I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good - Private message to Justin and Sally Anne

[alt_hydra]

I met up with the twins last night. They were very willing volunteers - I had the impression that they think it would be nift to be a legilimens, but I didn't spend too much time trying to convince them that it's actually quite the opposite.

I suppose the good news is that I could tell that each of their memories of the other's death were fake. It's hard to explain how I could tell - I suppose it's best to compare it to a puppet show, or maybe a badly restored photograph or portrait. The movements are jerky and the sounds don't match up. I'm sure the memory seems real if it's happening in your own head, though, and it must have been horrid.

Anyway. I think hearing me explain how I could tell the memory was fake made them feel better. And they promised not to tell the other adults what I can do.

But they did say I should tell the rest of the lock. I'm not so sure, though.

Comments

[alt_sally_anne]

Are you worried that people will be afraid of you? Or that they'll want you to use it all the time?

[alt_hydra]

Both.

I also really don't enjoy doing it. Every time I see Megan, I feel horrible. I wish I coud apologise to her.

[alt_sally_anne]

I don't think anyone will be afraid of you because we all know you and trust you.

Last autumn, people might have wanted you to use it, but we've all been trying to learn occlumency and so we know -- even when we're working with someone we trust it's kind of awful knowing they're looking in your head. (You can feel it happening, too, with Mr Snape. I've heard that with Professor Brutka you don't even know he's doing it.)

Anyway it's up to you. I guess -- if people know you can do it, they can come to you if they think it really needs to be done. Which could be good, if it's really important. But it could be bad, if people try to pressure you to do it.

Private Message to Dux

[alt_justin]

Hello, love.

I say, I'm heartily tired of this location spell. It's dashed inconvenient to have to rush back every night, what?

I've been thinking about your question, though, whether to tell the others. I agree with Sally-Anne, I don't think people here would pressure you to use it against your judgement. But I should say it's bally well up to you if you trust them enough to say you're a legilimens or not. It strikes me as the sort of thing that's your revelation to impart, what. It's rather as if one has a medical condition, or one fancies someone--it's not necessarily the sort of thing one blurts out in casual conversation over the dinner table, if you follow me.

On the other hand, it's just the sort of tool that might be important to us as a group, and one never knows which of us would need to know it, what? On top of that, I suppose there are some here who'd be well within their rights to be upset if you withheld it.

I'm not sure what to advise. Only that either way, I'll support whatever you decide.

-Justin

Re: Private Message to Dux

[alt_hydra]

I don't know. I was rather thinking that I would tell them if and when they need to know it.

I hadn't thought about them being upset about not telling straight away, though. Resentful, you mean? Or would it make me seem as if I couldn't be trusted?

From,
Hydra

Re: Private Message to Dux

[alt_justin]

Well, yes, resentful, I suppose. As if you didn't trust them to tell them. Which, I suppose, if you didn't wish to tell them, might be true, what?

How has Draco been getting on, with all this new information to process?

-J

Re: Private Message to Dux

[alt_hydra]

I can think about it a few days, at least. Can't I?

Draco is confused, I think. The other day he kept talking about illusions and wasn't making too much sense.

Oh, and he asked me how I felt when I found out you were muggleborn. If I was disgusted or secretly thrilled. I thought it was odd that he described it in those terms.

From,
Hydra

Re: Private Message to Dux

[alt_justin]

Of course, you can, goose!

I can bally well sympathise with him, if he's feeling overwhelmed. I'm not sure what you mean about illusions, though. What was he saying, or is it something he'd rather not you tell me?

I imagine he wondered how long you'd known about me, what, or if you...well, if you'd chosen me because you knew what your parents would think of it. Like your Aunt Andromeda, perhaps.

-J

Re: Private Message to Dux

[alt_hydra]

I will, then.

I just think that he grew up knowing one way of thinking, and now he's come to question it, and that frightens him. And I think that adopting a new way of thinking might frighten him, too.

I don't know if "frighten" is the right word, he doesn't seem scared. More pensive.

He didn't ask how long I'd known or if I did it to be rebellious. Though that might have been what he meant when he asked if I found it thrilling, because it's breaking all the rules I've been taught all my life, as he sees it.

From,
Hydra

Re: Private Message to Dux

[alt_justin]

Yes, that's why I say it's not surprising he feels a little bit shaken by it all. It's rather like when I learned that magic exists and that I could do it. But, perhaps the other way round, if you follow me.

And perhaps he was worried that if he would offend you, if he asked what he really wished to know. (If I were Draco, I'd be tempted to ask you all manner of impertinent questions, what?) Given what he's been raised to believe, and you were raised to think, it's no wonder he's not sure why you didn't bin me in horror the moment you found out the truth.

-J

Re: Private Message to Dux

[alt_hydra]

That's a good way of putting it.

I expected him to be more condemning than he was, actually. About us, I mean. Mostly he seemed curious, but also like he couldn't imagine getting past all that we've been raised to believe, were he in my position.

I don't know what you mean about impertinent questions, though. What do you mean?

From,
Hydra

Re: Private Message to Dux

[alt_justin]

Well...condemning is a good way to put it, as well. Also one might say prying, if you prefer that to impertinent. I mean to say, in many ways, he's the closest thing you've got to an older brother. I say, it's natural for him to want to know how serious you are about us, and how...far along we are, things like that. And whether you mean to tell your parents mother or whether you think to compare snogging with me to snogging with a pureblood. That sort of impertinent.

-J

Re: Private Message to Dux

[alt_hydra]

No, he didn't ask anything like that. I don't suppose he will. I hope not, at least.

I've never snogged a pureblood, so I wouldn't know the comparison, anyway!

From,
Hydra

Re: Private Message to Dux

[alt_justin]

Well, good.

And if I've anything to say about it, you'll never have to compare it, either!

If we can just get rid of that horrid woman. She's not doing anything to help me fancy pink any better, what, I'm sorry to say!

But I suppose it's getting rather late. Tomorrow?

Sweet dreams, Dux.

-J

Re: Private Message to Dux

[alt_hydra]

I won't let her ruin pink for me - not yet, at least.

It is late at that. Goodnight Justin, see you tomorrow!

Love,
Hydra