It might not have been something you noticed because he didn't seem different from any of the other students when they came over, but the thing was, when he first joined the ISS, Justin was really apologetic to me and Terry because he was getting the education we should have been able to get. But it was never anything I resented, anyway, and I don't think Terry, either, because it was actually harder to think of him as a muggleborn than as a pureblood. Well, except for when he didn't know things but mostly he did a good job covering that up and most people figured it was because he was raised in France.
I can see how you'd have thought he was deliberately seeking you out because he wanted to twist your mother's nose but of course, that would have been completely unlike him.
It's funny how he says he resisted fancying you for a long time, when that's just what Draco said. Only somehow it wasn't a compliment when Draco said it. (Honestly he really doesn't know how to talk to a witch, except when he's pretending to flirt with Daphne or something. Did you know that his and Harry's first year he had a crush on Lavender Brown? I mean, really, Lavender Brown.)
Anyway, I do think he thinks he has to prove himself but I think it's because he's sure the Order don't really trust him and they're just waiting for him to go tell his father all about us. But mostly I think that's because he's so closed off about everything and apart from Mr Snape, he hasn't really given the adults a chance to get to know him, so all they have is his reputation. And his sarcasm.
I don't know if we really were friends. I don't know what I'd call our relationship before all this. But I would like it if we could at least go back to being comfortable with each other. I don't want him to hate me or to pine for me or to think I'm flirting when I don't hate him and I'm not trying to make him interested or anything.
I'm just not sure how to get there, except to give him time to get over it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
2014-04-21 03:25 (UTC)I can see how you'd have thought he was deliberately seeking you out because he wanted to twist your mother's nose but of course, that would have been completely unlike him.
It's funny how he says he resisted fancying you for a long time, when that's just what Draco said. Only somehow it wasn't a compliment when Draco said it. (Honestly he really doesn't know how to talk to a witch, except when he's pretending to flirt with Daphne or something. Did you know that his and Harry's first year he had a crush on Lavender Brown? I mean, really, Lavender Brown.)
Anyway, I do think he thinks he has to prove himself but I think it's because he's sure the Order don't really trust him and they're just waiting for him to go tell his father all about us. But mostly I think that's because he's so closed off about everything and apart from Mr Snape, he hasn't really given the adults a chance to get to know him, so all they have is his reputation. And his sarcasm.
I don't know if we really were friends. I don't know what I'd call our relationship before all this. But I would like it if we could at least go back to being comfortable with each other. I don't want him to hate me or to pine for me or to think I'm flirting when I don't hate him and I'm not trying to make him interested or anything.
I'm just not sure how to get there, except to give him time to get over it.