I can see why you'd be thinking about it, because of that. And about the baby you lost. That's quite a lot of 'what might have been' knocking around.
Maybe that's part of what happens when you survive something you didn't think you would walk away from. And the fact that there's so much else up in the air doesn't help much, either.
I think it's understandable that you'd want to know whether you can or not, regardless of whether you want to right now. And that it'd be sort of terrifying to make it a certain thing, all at the same time, in case it closes off that particular choice absolutely instead of just wondering about it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
2015-08-21 00:55 (UTC)I can see why you'd be thinking about it, because of that. And about the baby you lost. That's quite a lot of 'what might have been' knocking around.
Maybe that's part of what happens when you survive something you didn't think you would walk away from. And the fact that there's so much else up in the air doesn't help much, either.
I think it's understandable that you'd want to know whether you can or not, regardless of whether you want to right now. And that it'd be sort of terrifying to make it a certain thing, all at the same time, in case it closes off that particular choice absolutely instead of just wondering about it.