I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_hydra]

I went to my Aunt and Uncle's today, and I spent time with Justin. He told me about your group, and your secret way of communicating, and that you had all decided I could be a part of it.

I really hope that this is as protected as Justin says it is. I suppose if it weren't, something awful would have happened by now, but I can't help but feel cautious anyway. I didn't even want to write this inside St James, so I'm out in the garden.

I've had a difficult time trying to think of a secret that would be worth sharing, and equal to what the rest of yours must be. The truth is that I haven't done anything very rebellious or risky. I usually do what I'm told. But sometimes I do other things to counter-act what I've just been told to do. I don't know if that really makes sense, but sometimes it seems like the only option that there is. Like the time Mummy asked me to cosy up to my cousin, Mrs Ponds, the only thing I could think to do was ask Sally Anne if she could give Mrs Ponds a warning that Mummy might be investigating her. I didn't know I was an occlumens then, though, and I thought that Mummy would always know if I lied to her. Well, I've lied to her loads since then, and she hasn't figured it out yet. So that's something.

So I suppose the other things I've done you already know about. I know that Justin is a muggleborn, and that he knew Sirius Black, and I could have told people those things but I didn't. And knowing who he was didn't change my feelings about him, either.

But I still don't know if that's enough, since you already knew those things. And I'm used to people being a little wary of me, because of who Mummy is, and because of what happened to me in my first year. So some of you, those of you who don't know me very well, might be afraid that I'll take everything I know and turn right around and tell everything to Mummy. It would make her so very happy, you know.

Well, I can't stand the thought of her being happy.

So I've thought of something I can share that nobody here knows already, not even Justin. It's a long story, with a lot of details, but what it comes down to is that I once lied to the Lord Protector. We were sitting face-to-face, and he wanted to know something very desperately, but I told him I didn't know anything about it. He believed me, I think because he couldn't legilmise me, but I was lying. If he found out that I lied about something so important to him, he would kill me. I know that he would.

Is that any good at all?

Comments

[alt_neville]

Whoa, lied to the Lord Protector? And they say Gryffindors are brave!

I understand all about being judged because who my parents are, believe me.

What you've told us is certainly good enough to be here. And I think you should know that we all agreed together to add you to the Lock. So you shouldn't have any doubt about being welcome.

[alt_luna]

Yes, you're very welcome. I'm glad that you and Justin have found each other. It's clear that you make him very happy.

I joined after the Lock was started and other people were on it, too. And it was certainly startling to learn about it, but I'm very glad to have it. It'll help you understand things a lot more if you go to read all the entries that you can now read, in your journal. Everything will make much more sense.

[alt_hydra]

Oh, I'm sure that I'll be up all night reading and catching up. It is rather overwhelming, but exciting, too.

If it weren't for Justin Yes, he makes me happy, too.

[alt_luna]

Pansy Parkinson and Sally-Anne Perks are on the Lock, too. I'm sure they'll welcome you, too, when they can. I don't know what Pansy's doing today, but I'm a little worried about Sally-Anne. She usually keeps a close eye on her journal, but she hasn't checked in for several days. It could be that the Strettons took it away from her when she returned home. They've done that before, when they want to punish her for some reason.

And Hermione's on the Lock, too, of course, but we don't hear from her quite as often, but that's because she's not as free to read and write in her journal, at Buckingham.

[alt_hydra]

Yes, the Strettons, they treat Sally Anne just like Jane Eyre. Except I'm sure they don't even know who that is. I hope she is faring well, though, and will be in touch soon.

I'm glad you made it into CCF, Luna.

[alt_ron]

Like who?

Oh. And, yeah. I'm glad you're on here now. Good you're writing, too.

The best thing about this is being able to talk to people when you can't really let anyone see you talking to them. If you know what I mean.

Anywiz, glad you're here.

[alt_neville]

And I've been learning about occlumency myself. Studying it, on my own, using some books. I'd be glad to talk about it, sometime. Justin says you're really good at it. Well, you must be, if you can keep your mum out now.

[alt_hydra]

I only studied it a little, really, and I can't even say how I do it. I guess I was born with it, but it didn't start to work until I was older.

And I never thought about lying to the Lord Protector as being a brave thing. Lying is a sneaky, Slytherin thing to do, after all.

[alt_ron]

Heh. Too right about that!

[alt_terry]

Hello, Miss Lestrange. Hydra.

I'm on the Lock, too. As you can see.

Welcome.

[alt_hydra]

Yes. I look forward to getting to know you better, Terry.

[alt_terry]

If you want to ask us questions, go ahead and ask. Hermione and me. We know this probably sort of mind-bending for you.

We may not be able to answer all of them, understand. But those that we can answer, we will, and we won't be offended if you ask them.

[alt_hydra]

I don't know, I can't seem to sort out any specific questions just now. I feel like I should just read everything, and then see if I have any.

I'm sure that I will, though.

[alt_lee]

Hey, welcome to our crew.

I'm on the Lock, too, although I won't be for long. Don't know if Justin explained it, but you can only read these entries until you're seventeen (that's part of the built-in protection that Fred and George designed it with), and I have a birthday coming up later this summer.

But I'll look forward to getting to know you a little better until then.

[alt_hydra]

What will you do when you turn seventeen? Won't you miss writing here?

[alt_lee]

I'll miss it a lot, true. But Ron and Neville will probably fill me in a little bit. The two who invented the lock, Gred and For Fred and George Weasley, turned seventeen last April 1. And we tell them some about what's going on. In fact, they argued that you should be added to the Lock, passing that on through Ron. You'll see that if you go back and read old entries.

But having us move off the Lock at age seventeen is part of the Lock's protection. We'll be moving on to other projects, I'm sure. We just have to figure them out.

[alt_hydra]

Really? They did that? But I don't even know them well at all. And now I suppose it will be harder to get to know them, if they can no longer use this.

So tell them thank you, for making the "Lock."

Private Message to Hydra

[alt_justin]

Hullo, you.

It's probably best if you do write only when you're well certain no one else will see, what? I mean to say, it's possible to explain that one's commenting in another's journal if there's a question but after all, there's no answer for someone looking over one's shoulder and not seeing anything on the page!

I'm quite glad you're here.

-J

Re: Private Message to Hydra

[alt_hydra]

My journal cover is supposed to keep people from seeing what I'm reading or writing, so I can always say that's why there's nothing on the page, but you're right, it's always best to be careful.

I'm glad, too. Only I hope that I don't say anything foolish.

Re: Private Message to Hydra

[alt_justin]

You've nothing to worry about, love. They're all exceedingly kind.

I say, I think if we can keep Remy in comic books we'll have all the privacy we could wish for, what? He's reading the ones you brought for a third time now. Whereas I've got Creatures and Runes to read tonight.

-J

Re: Private Message to Hydra

[alt_hydra]

Do you really want to spend all that money on comic books that aren't for you? At least see if you can read them yourself, when he's done with them.

And we should see if we can't get away for a walk after the picnic tomorrow. It should be easy to get away from everyone in a place the size of Hampstead Heath.

[alt_pansy]

Hello, Hydra.

When I found out about all this, it was a bit much. Especially since there were people who I thought I knew everything about, only I didn't know this part. And now you know this part about Justin, and me, and Sally-Anne that you didn't know before. I hope that's a good thing. I think it will be.

I'm glad you know about who Justin is, and that it doesn't matter to you. I'm glad I can talk to you and not be afraid of your mother finding out, or what you'll think of me. And we can talk a lot more now, really truly talk, which I am very much looking forward to.

I very much want you to know that I consider you a good person, and a friend, and I

Well, I could have been a better friend to you than I have. I should have trusted you more, and been more open with you, not jumped to conclusions about you for as long as I did. And I'm sorry for it. I hope you'll forgive me.

[alt_hydra]

You should't be sorry, because if I were someone else I would probably have a hard time trusting Bellatrix Lestrange's daughter, too. You were only being cautious.

But if no one trusts anyone then I suppose no one gets very far, do they?

[alt_pansy]

Yes, I agree.

And just think, if Justin didn't trust you, and he didn't trust us, and we didn't trust him back, we might never have been able to have this conversation at all.

I wish

And who knows what all this will come to, but I think that having a place where you don't have to lie all the time or be careful about what you're saying has to be a good thing. Doesn't it?