I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_hydra]

How many of you have met with Madam Umbridge by now? I know she's not done with everyone yet, and might not be for another week or so, maybe longer.

I thought she might just not know how to talk to young people, because lots of adults don't. So I wanted to give her a chance before I fully formed a first impression of her, even though I know a lot of you don't care for her.

Anyway, I think you were right not to care for her. She had me in today before lunch, and - she's just horrid. Yes, right. She's horrid.

Comments

Private message to Justin

[alt_hydra]

Aunt Narcissa replied back and asked me if I liked any boys. I haven't answered because I don't want to lie and say 'no,' but I don't want to tell her too much, either. I feel a bit bad for keeping a secret from her, but that's just how it is.

She's sending me some sort of book about choices, feelings, and options.

Re: Private message to Justin

[alt_justin]

Oh, I say. First your father and uncle, then Professor Siz and now this?

I suppose we ought to be grateful she's taken an interest in your well-being, what? But it's well intolerable the way they all think they know better than we how we feel or what we want. I'll jolly well sort that out for myself, thanks, and you're well capable of doing the same.

You know, Smith asked me about the book JP gave me before he left. The one he brought on how to chat up girls (and never actually used). It's good for a laugh but I think Smith actually thought it might be helpful. I didn't bother asking who he planned to use for a test. Perhaps this book she's sending you is something like that only for witches, what! I say, if it is we can disregard its advice together.

What was it about Madam Umbridge that made you decide to dislike her? More of this bally old sort of nonsense or something else?

-J

Re: Private message to Justin

[alt_hydra]

I suppose Uncle Raz didn't really ask to be involved, at least.

I hope it's not that book that Luna read by accident. Only I am rather wondering about it, now...

And as for Madam Umbridge, you can see what I said to Ron below. I suppose most of what she said was exactly what I was expecting and I'm being a little irrational, but... I just don't like her now.

Re: Private message to Justin

[alt_justin]

I say, there's a book like the one Luna read in every school. In Beauxbatons it was La vallée des lutins bleus and it was frightfully horrid. They're what my mother would call 'bodice-rippers,' what?

Though I suppose some of the lads (and more of the girls, I think) found it very educational, if you follow me. But I'm sure that's not the sort of book your Aunt would send you, even as a jape.

As for Professor Raz, no, he didn't ask to be involved, what, but he did make you promise he wouldn't regret hiding things from your father. I'm not sure how long he'll keep silent, love. I mean to say, he only has to decide that we're too attached or that we're moving too quickly, what?

Are you upset because she brought up Tom? Or because she tried to use you to find out if Professor Siz dislikes her? Or all of it?

I think it's the way she goes about it, as much as anything, what?

-J

Re: Private message to Justin

[alt_hydra]

So, where can I get La vallée des lutins bleus?

But I'm only joking, of course.

Well, now you have me wondering what could happen that he would regret. I don't think he's very prudish, you know what they say about all the women he's been with... oh, though I do remember that when all those gossipy articles came out, just after the engagement was announced, one of them said he had a child out of wedlock when he was a teenager, and that the child was now one of his own students. But then later, they printed a retraction, so I don't know.

Maybe I should talk to Siz. If he hears that I'm confiding in her about you, he might decide everything's alright and he can stop worrying about it (if he even is - he hasn't said anything to make me think that).

I don't like her because of all of it, I suppose.

Also, she doesn't really like kittens at all.

[alt_ron]

What did she say, then? Must have been something to make you say that! I mean to say, you're always so polite about everything.

[alt_hydra]

She talked about the results of my YPL testing, and my marks, and things of that sort. She said that my results showed I have an aptitude in the mental arts, and that it made sense, because it runs in my family, and that I'm good at cooperation and spell-work but that I might want to put a teensy bit more effort into the physical side of things.

She said that my parents were such pillars of the Protectorate, and what did I want to do to follow in their footsteps? I said that I would probably do whatever they decided for me, because they know best. I figured she wouldn't know how to respond to that properly, and I was right.

She said it was so nice to see that I was fully recovered from what happened a few years ago, and it must have been such a challenge for me, but how good it was that I overcame it. That exchange was a little uncomfortable. That is, sometimes people do bring that up, they just haven't lately and I wasn't expecting it.

Oh, and she asked if my Uncle and Professor Siz have said much about the changes she's made. I told her that they hadn't said anything to me, and she then spent our final few minutes together saying that she hoped I would come to her with any concerns, and that she hoped to make some 'special opportunities' available in the future.

[alt_pansy]

Ugh. The problem is, she always sounds so pleasant and helpful. Which just makes it so frustrating, because if she says something awful or flat out wrong, but she says it nicely, and she's saying it because she wants the best for you, well, it's difficult to disagree with what she's saying without coming off as horribly rude.

[alt_hydra]

Because it isn't genuinely pleasant. It's more like an acid pop dipped in honey.

[alt_ron]

Um. What happened a few years ago... you mean with the Chamber of Secrets and all, I guess. But, well- I suppose she could have known about it, but- she really said something about it? I mean, you make it sound as if she meant you'd been mad or something. She really said recovered?

And asking you to repeat things Siz and Raz've said. That's not on, either.

[alt_hydra]

Yes, that's what she meant. I didn't get the impression she knew the specifics, because not many do, but she'd heard things about it. I suppose she did make it sound as if I'd gone mad, or that I'd fallen ill somehow. Though she didn't use those words.

She made it sound as if she was wondering whether they were pleased with the changes. I don't know why she can't ask them herself.

[alt_sally_anne]

A teensy bit more effort. I can just hear her saying that.

It's so funny, because if Siz wanted to say, 'maybe you could put a little more effort into your physical training' I wouldn't be cross at all but Hembridge? If I were hungry and she told me to go have my lunch I think it would make me cross.

[alt_hydra]

I suppose I thought someone who loved kittens and animals so much mightn't be so bad?

She told me that she hasn't had a cat in years, though.

[alt_sally_anne]

She hasn't?

She has so many pictures of kittens I would have assumed she had a cat.

[alt_hydra]

She doesn't, she doesn't even like them.

[alt_sally_anne]

Then why all the kitten plates?!

I mean they actually MEOW. Or mew, anyway.

[alt_hydra]

I'm really not sure.

I guess she just likes plates. That mew.