I thought all morning about what kind of public post I could make so that I can write a Private Message to Dora, and this is what I've come up with.
It's not very good, is it?
Which of you started the discussion about Madam Umbridge? I suppose it's not as important as thinking about ways to help the Order, but we would be helping ourselves, and the rest of the school.
Whoever it was had a good point, though. The Carrows weren't liked by Lucius, not at all, but he couldn't do much because they were favoured by the LP.
I don't think He's quite that close to her.
And Dolohov already doesn't care for her. He did give her those socks. So maybe he'd know who on the Board doesn't like her?
Well, this summer, you and Draco were working to make Harry a little more comfortable with being a leader. Was that the idea or am I wrong?
I hate the idea of putting a burden on him if he doesn't want it, but Harry can pretty much does as he pleases at this school, so long as it doesn't come across as being a blood traitor.
I wonder what she'd do he he was like "I don't like what you've come up with here, and as the Lord Protector's son I want you to change it."
The Lord Protector might even be glad that he's taking charge like that - or maybe he likes that Harry never makes waves. I don't know.
But then it's so hard to imagine Harry doing that. Draco would be so much better.
Yes, that was part of it. And we thought it best he wasn't at Buckingham and had friends around him keeping his mind off things.
I could talk to him and Draco about it, and see what they think. It's worth a try, at least. He really doesn't like Umbridge, that much is plain.
I know that one thing he worries about is that if he does things wrong, Draco and Hermione are the ones who get hurt. So he might be unsure because of that.
I'm sorry that I've got to bury a private message to you inside my journal, but Madam Umbridge has made some new rules about using too many private messages. Yesterday, she pulled aside the people who didn't follow her rules and made them read their private messages aloud to one another. It was very embarrassing for some people, I believe.
Thank you again for allowing my friends and me to have a Tea Appreciation at Laszlo's. It was a very nice way to finish our hols, and I was so pleased to see Bea again (she's so big!). I am also certain that some of my other friends were very sorry to have missed your dog, but perhaps next time?
I've been coming back to a lot of the things we talked about in the autumn, about boys and growing up. I feel a lot clearer on some of those questions, now. I've also learnt something, and that's that my Daddy doesn't want me to grow up. Other adults act as if that's normal, especially when it comes to daughters, but I find it strange and a little unsettling. I also worry that when he opens up his eyes and sees that I'm more grown up than he realised, he might do something dangerous. Maybe to Justin. Even though I worry about that it doesn't seem to stop me from doing more and more things that he wouldn't approve of. Do you suppose I'm quite foolish?
I've also thought about what I heard you say to Mr Ponds during the tea. It surprised me quite a bit, I suppose. I've never thought of myself as resembling anyone in particular, let alone Aunt Andromeda - your Mother, that is. I don't look like Mummy (Rigel does, he has such dark hair and eyes). Daddy says that I favour the Rosier side of the family, not the Blacks, which I suppose I always thought meant I looked a little like Aunt Narcissa (except less beautiful). i suppose it got me thinking, is all. And maybe you can tell me more about her, one day. That and the rest of your family.
I'm awfully glad you were all able to come. Bea certainly enjoyed it. And I did, too. You're welcome any time. With friends or without.
What you said ab I didn
That's really odd, your thinking I'd said something to Mr Ponds about you. I did have that thought while you were here. You were talking to some of the others and it just struck me how much you reminded me of my mum. Something about your eyes and the way you looked when your bloke offered you one of those biscuits you fancied. Just an expression, I guess, but it made me think of her.
It's a compliment. She was lovely, my mum. And brav She knew what she wanted and what she cared about, mum did. And she broke with her parents over it, too.
I'm not saying that to answer your questions about whether you should do things your father wouldn't approve of. I mean to say, if my mum is an example, it could be an example of what not to do or of the consequences of doing it. You know how she died, I expect.
But there are other ways to see it, too, and I think you'll have to make your own decisions about things you want that your father disapproves of or things he wants for you that you don't want. It's part of getting to be your own person, and I expect it makes all parents sad when it happens. Only some parents manage it better than others. And some parents are more... set on having things their way.
I suppose I'm not very much help when it comes to managing parents at your age because I didn't have mine then, and things with Crouches were not the they are between parents and their own children. But, still, when I was your age I know I was figuring out who I wanted to be and I was also learning how to be that person when I knew I'd have to hide her from the Crouches. Because I couldn't be like them. (Not that they wanted me to be, mind you.) But I didn't want to do the things they thought I ought to do, and I did a great lot of things they'd have been awfully cheesed off about if they'd known.
But you may be right that you have to think about consequences if you step out of your father's line. I'm not telling you to ignore that or to pretend he mightn't do something 'dangerous'. You know him best, and you know what you need to be concerned about.
I do think, though, that from now on, you'll find yourself having more thoughts and doing more things that are yours, apart from your parents. So you'll have to figure out which things they can know about and which things it's best if they don't. That's how growing up works. For everyone, I think, but it's more important for people whose parents try to control them. You're growing into the person you'll be when you finish school and live on your own and make your own decisions, including about who to see and whether to get married. You're not going to marry your father, after all!
You had a thought - but you said something about it, didn't you? To Mr Ponds or maybe it was just to yourself, just under your breath. You said that I reminded you of your Mother.
Yes, you must have. People say all sorts of things out loud without meaning to, and they don't even realise it.
You didn't embarrass me at all. I'm sorry, I was panicking about something that's just in my imagin - I'm just a little jumpy, that's all. I promise it's not to do with you.
I'm happy that I remind you of her. I'd rather remind people of someone like her, than someone like my own Mother. Even though I never did know her.
I will have to think more about what you said about consequences. I've already done so many - well, there's a lot of things that I could get in trouble for, sometimes I feel like, surely snogging a boy, or doing more than that, would be the least of it.
I would hate it if anyone got hurt because of me, though.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good
2013-01-08 17:08 (UTC)It's not very good, is it?
Which of you started the discussion about Madam Umbridge? I suppose it's not as important as thinking about ways to help the Order, but we would be helping ourselves, and the rest of the school.
Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good
2013-01-08 17:11 (UTC)It sort of looks like Ron's first message, though. Was it you, Ron?
Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good
2013-01-08 19:13 (UTC)I guess no one did anything about the Carrows, though.
Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good
2013-01-08 19:23 (UTC)I don't think He's quite that close to her.
And Dolohov already doesn't care for her. He did give her those socks. So maybe he'd know who on the Board doesn't like her?
Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good
2013-01-08 19:34 (UTC)Well, this summer, you and Draco were working to make Harry a little more comfortable with being a leader. Was that the idea or am I wrong?
I hate the idea of putting a burden on him if he doesn't want it, but Harry can pretty much does as he pleases at this school, so long as it doesn't come across as being a blood traitor.
I wonder what she'd do he he was like "I don't like what you've come up with here, and as the Lord Protector's son I want you to change it."
The Lord Protector might even be glad that he's taking charge like that - or maybe he likes that Harry never makes waves. I don't know.
But then it's so hard to imagine Harry doing that. Draco would be so much better.
Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good
2013-01-08 20:11 (UTC)I could talk to him and Draco about it, and see what they think. It's worth a try, at least. He really doesn't like Umbridge, that much is plain.
I know that one thing he worries about is that if he does things wrong, Draco and Hermione are the ones who get hurt. So he might be unsure because of that.
no subject
2013-01-08 17:11 (UTC)no subject
2013-01-08 17:23 (UTC)no subject
2013-01-08 18:16 (UTC)no subject
2013-01-08 18:22 (UTC)no subject
2013-01-08 18:49 (UTC)Private message to cousin Dora
2013-01-08 17:23 (UTC)I'm sorry that I've got to bury a private message to you inside my journal, but Madam Umbridge has made some new rules about using too many private messages. Yesterday, she pulled aside the people who didn't follow her rules and made them read their private messages aloud to one another. It was very embarrassing for some people, I believe.
Thank you again for allowing my friends and me to have a Tea Appreciation at Laszlo's. It was a very nice way to finish our hols, and I was so pleased to see Bea again (she's so big!). I am also certain that some of my other friends were very sorry to have missed your dog, but perhaps next time?
I've been coming back to a lot of the things we talked about in the autumn, about boys and growing up. I feel a lot clearer on some of those questions, now. I've also learnt something, and that's that my Daddy doesn't want me to grow up. Other adults act as if that's normal, especially when it comes to daughters, but I find it strange and a little unsettling. I also worry that when he opens up his eyes and sees that I'm more grown up than he realised, he might do something dangerous. Maybe to Justin. Even though I worry about that it doesn't seem to stop me from doing more and more things that he wouldn't approve of. Do you suppose I'm quite foolish?
I've also thought about what I heard you say to Mr Ponds during the tea. It surprised me quite a bit, I suppose. I've never thought of myself as resembling anyone in particular, let alone Aunt Andromeda - your Mother, that is. I don't look like Mummy (Rigel does, he has such dark hair and eyes). Daddy says that I favour the Rosier side of the family, not the Blacks, which I suppose I always thought meant I looked a little like Aunt Narcissa (except less beautiful). i suppose it got me thinking, is all. And maybe you can tell me more about her, one day. That and the rest of your family.
I hope all is well.
From,
Hydra
Re: Private message to cousin Dora
2013-01-09 04:47 (UTC)I'm awfully glad you were all able to come. Bea certainly enjoyed it. And I did, too. You're welcome any time. With friends or without.
What you said abI didnThat's really odd, your thinking I'd said something to Mr Ponds about you. I did have that thought while you were here. You were talking to some of the others and it just struck me how much you reminded me of my mum. Something about your eyes and the way you looked when your bloke offered you one of those biscuits you fancied. Just an expression, I guess, but it made me think of her.
It's a compliment. She was lovely, my mum. And
bravShe knew what she wanted and what she cared about, mum did. And she broke with her parents over it, too.I'm not saying that to answer your questions about whether you should do things your father wouldn't approve of. I mean to say, if my mum is an example, it could be an example of what not to do or of the consequences of doing it. You know how she died, I expect.
But there are other ways to see it, too, and I think you'll have to make your own decisions about things you want that your father disapproves of or things he wants for you that you don't want. It's part of getting to be your own person, and I expect it makes all parents sad when it happens. Only some parents manage it better than others. And some parents are more... set on having things their way.
I suppose I'm not very much help when it comes to managing parents at your age because I didn't have mine then, and things with Crouches were not the they are between parents and their own children. But, still, when I was your age I know I was figuring out who I wanted to be and I was also learning how to be that person when I knew I'd have to hide her from the Crouches. Because I couldn't be like them. (Not that they wanted me to be, mind you.) But I didn't want to do the things they thought I ought to do, and I did a great lot of things they'd have been awfully cheesed off about if they'd known.
But you may be right that you have to think about consequences if you step out of your father's line. I'm not telling you to ignore that or to pretend he mightn't do something 'dangerous'. You know him best, and you know what you need to be concerned about.
I do think, though, that from now on, you'll find yourself having more thoughts and doing more things that are yours, apart from your parents. So you'll have to figure out which things they can know about and which things it's best if they don't. That's how growing up works. For everyone, I think, but it's more important for people whose parents try to control them. You're growing into the person you'll be when you finish school and live on your own and make your own decisions, including about who to see and whether to get married. You're not going to marry your father, after all!
Re: Private message to cousin Dora
2013-01-09 05:57 (UTC)You said it out loud, right? Didn't you?
From,
Hydra
Re: Private message to cousin Dora
2013-01-09 06:03 (UTC)Re: Private message to cousin Dora
2013-01-09 06:06 (UTC)It's just that, do you remember if you just thought about how I looked like your Mother, or do you remember if you actually said something out loud.
It's very important.
Re: Private message to cousin Dora
2013-01-09 06:07 (UTC)Well, I hadn't meant to. But if you heard me, I suppose I did.
I was just so struck by it, I guess.
Re: Private message to cousin Dora
2013-01-09 06:09 (UTC)Re: Private message to cousin Dora
2013-01-09 06:18 (UTC)You didn't embarrass me at all. I'm sorry, I was panicking about something that's just in my imagin - I'm just a little jumpy, that's all. I promise it's not to do with you.
I'm happy that I remind you of her. I'd rather remind people of someone like her, than someone like my own Mother. Even though I never did know her.
I will have to think more about what you said about consequences. I've already done so many - well, there's a lot of things that I could get in trouble for, sometimes I feel like, surely snogging a boy, or doing more than that, would be the least of it.
I would hate it if anyone got hurt because of me, though.
From,
Hydra