Order Only - Private message to Hermione

[alt_hydra]

I've just seen Draco. He's going to bring Jack over to Justin... Well, that's not why I saw him, we've just had supper at Nanella's. It's really more duty than celebration, and no one lingers for long after the table is cleared.

I - I'm not sure how to say this, because for all I know, you may not want to talk to anyone at all. Thats for you to decide. But then again, you can't know who to talk to unless someone makes it clear that they're willing to listen. And thats what you did for me, after Justin and I broke up. Which seems so long ago and yet like it just happened, and I still don't know what I can say about it. What is there to say? We've made our decision and that's the end of it. But even though I didn't feel like talking, I appreciated it when you said that you'd listen, if I needed someone.

The thing is, Draco has been occluding around me for ages. I could feel it, at first, but now he's gotten better and I couldn't really tell, but I assumed that he was. For practice. I had no idea he was actually hiding something.

And today, even though he didn't really ask me to do anything, as soon as we were alone at St. James to get Jack, I could feel him drawing me in, intentionally, so I looked. And I saw.

If I was surprised, well, I can only imagine how you must have felt.

He didn't want to talk about it, but he thought you might need someone. He might be right, he might be wrong. I don't know. But here I am, if you do.

Comments

[alt_hermione]

Why are you giving your cat to Justin? Did he ask for him?

None of my business I suppose.

I'm not sure what Draco showed you but--well, that's really annoying of him. Sorry. It's not your fault he's being so frustrating. Ironic, that's what he said I was, which is one reason I think he's just mistaken and he'll realise it sooner or later. There are other reasons. But it doesn't really matter whether I think he's fooling himself or not, because so long as he thinks it's true it's not going to help any to tell him he's wrong.

Anyway, it's annoying because I promised him I wouldn't talk to anyone about it--that I would keep his little guilty secret for him--and that meant really there wasn't anyone to talk to. Only it turns out at least one other person had figured it out and offered to talk about it and now he's gone and let you into the circle. So he's still deciding what I get to do about his revelation.

He offered to Obliviate me, too. Like that would help anything. It's just.... I don't know how to help him see that he's just wishing for what he can't have and not really as interested in me as he is in an accessible muggleborn who happens to not find him charming or arresting.

Maybe I should act like Pansy and just fawn all over him, and then he'll stop.