Order Only Private message to Justin

[alt_hydra]

I've been sitting on my bed, trying to think of what I can do to make myself look like a council-witch who takes treason seriously, and uses my legilimency effectively.

I was thinking about turning someone in. Someone they could easily believe as a traitor, who is a traitor, but not one of us. Warrington, for example. They'd take him away and interrogate him and kill him. And Desai would stop hovering over Sally Anne and Pansy and everyone else. For a while, maybe.

I really don't think I can do that. It crosses a line, of some kind. I know that much. It's a line I really have to squint to see now, though.

Comments

[alt_justin]

Oh, I say, Hydra.

You're quite right. I've been thinking about how Harry's revelation must reflect bally well poorly on you. If it were only your mother, what, one could potentially make the case that she's paranoid because you've supplanted her in the Lord Protector's estimation. But as more of our associates begin to declare their loyalties...it becomes clearer that you have been sheltering them, willfully ignoring their thoughts or else simply praying that what you thought you saw was some sort of mistake or fleeting notion.

But to deflect that suspicion by condemning an innocent? Oh, love, I say. That jolly well does cross a line, what. No, darling. I know you--you would steel yourself for it at the time and then regret it bitterly later. No, if we could find someone who deserved to die for what they've already done.... But even then, do we know any student who truly deserves to be killed?

-Justin

[alt_hydra]

Draco got to him first, unfortunately.

And yes, it does cross a line. But if my mother came to the school and arrested me for treason would you not wish that I had crossed it?

[alt_justin]

Well, there is that. But he was a threat and while Finnigan can be a nuisance, he's of little consequence to us.

If your mother came to the school, we would leave immediately. Even if it meant fighting our way out, what.

-J

[alt_hydra]

If we had to fight then we'd die, probably. One of us, anyway.

I don't want to die at the end of my mother's wand. It's more than that - I refuse. I'll die sacrificing myself for the Order, or for any other number of reasons. But I won't let her get me. I can't.

[alt_justin]

Oh, I meant we would all go, dearest--all of us. Ron, Sally-Anne, Pansy, Luna, everyone whom your mother could potentially menace. We might even be able to get all the Galleoneers fighting, and anyone who's as bally well sick of this tyranny.

And yes, some of us might die but I agree with you. If we all fought her together, we'd likely prevail.

You won't die, Dux. You'll see to that and so shall I.

-J

[alt_hydra]

You and Ron are the only one of that group who have wands, though.

It's all right if I die, I just won't let it be her.

I keep thinking about Crouch, though. If I was ordered to kill you, just like that, on a complete whim, I wouldn't do it.

I guess that means that Daphne was right. He really didn't love her. I can't decide if it's worse or better that she was killed by someone who didn't love her.

[alt_justin]

Don't say that! It's bally well not all right if you die, I forbid it. I've no plan to live without you, so don't you dare, Mrs Finch-Fletchley.

Do you think I've not thought about the same thing? I don't know what I would have done, whether I'd have pointed my wand at Voldemort or grabbed you and run as fast as we could, and trusted the others to jump into the fray, but no, I couldn't have done it, either. I've been surprised at how easy some of the Dark spells we've learned really are, what, but on that score, I am certain I could not have summoned the strength to cast the curse properly, in any case.

I believe he was captivated, infatuated, possibly even obsessed, with Daphne. But no, he did not love her. Not in any way that matters, what.

As for being killed by someone who loves one...I say, Hydra, what a morbid thought. But, all right, I can imagine circumstances where I might ask you to--release me from torment, what, or end my suffering if I were dying of some horrible, debilitating disease. I could imagine you having to kill me to protect yourself, and that trade I would gladly make.

In any case, none of those reasons truly apply to Crouch, what. He was protecting himself but not in an honourable sense. If she really meant that much to him, he'd have put her life ahead of his own.

-J

[alt_hydra]

Maybe they're morbid thoughts but they're also things that could actually happen.

I don't want to live without you, either. I can't even imagine it.

Especially as it seems I need you to remind me not to forget where the line is.

I suppose I'm sorry he didn't really, truly love her. Because even if she deserved it from someone better, she might still be alive, if he had.

[alt_hydra]

And, actually..

Finnigan. He deserves it. But he's not a traitor, so that won't work.

[alt_justin]

Finnigan undoubtedly has much for which to answer, but I'm not sure death is the appropriate punishment for anyone so young.

I say, would it work for you to fabricate an accusation against Professor Glozeman? Or an Enforcer here to guard us? Perhaps you could find a stray thought and twist it somehow.

-J

[alt_hydra]

Why not? We've already killed lots of people, who actually were innocent. Finnigan's not. For all I know, Desai has given him a special project to sniff out traitors, too, and by killing him I'll have prevented one of us from being strapped down.

Professor Glozeman is loyal.

I don't know all of the Enforcers. I suppose I could wander around for a bit and see if I can catch them thinking anything potentially seditious. That seems like a lot to hope for, but who knows?

[alt_justin]

Granted, but the innocents we have killed before have been in the course of maintaining our cover--and before you say this would be, too, there's a difference in my mind between killing someone on orders from the people we are pretending to serve, and doing it of our own volition when there may be other options.

I know Professor Glozeman is loyal, dash it. I meant whether you could find anything which could be...misconstrued, perhaps, or blown out of proportion.


I suppose the other argument about Finnigan is that we're meant to be the ones who are better than our enemies. I know that seems jolly well ridiculous at times like this, with all we've already done, what, but I do believe it's important to stay on the right side of that line, whenever possible.

Then too, could our year withstand yet another murder in our midst? And how would they take it if they learned you were responsible?

I'll keep thinking about it, but surely there's a more appropriate solution.

I do wish we could see each other and talk it out together. Or--not talk, what.

-J

[alt_hydra]

Maybe, but I worry there's the potential for Desai to see through that.

I don't mean to have you think that I'm about to whisk off and kill Finnigan. I'm not. Just thinking through things.

We haven't not-talked in a while.

[alt_justin]

I'm not worried--well, I say, not worried you'll rush off in haste, at any rate.

I could jolly well use some not-talking. We've not had a chance to--I mean to say, I haven't told you that all the signs indicate Ron and I will be Marked by the end of the year, or shortly after we leave school.

I hope I can play the rôle as deftly as you've done.

-J

[alt_justin]

That is to say, you might have to give me special lessons, what.

-J

[alt_hydra]

I really don't want you to be Marked, though.

[alt_justin]

Why not? You've endured it. You wouldn't be alone.

-J

[alt_hydra]

I didn't think that I was alone.

Is that what you think I am?

[alt_justin]

No, of course not, I meant, alone among them. Of all of us, you're the only one currently inside His circle--especially now that Harry's done his bunk.

I hated it when you were Marked, but I understood the necessity. And if I were, as well, and Ron, we'd all have each other's back both inside and outside the Council.

You're never completely alone, love. But among the Death Eaters, you've no allies who share your beliefs or your goals.

-J

[alt_hydra]

I really hope you didn't try to get yourself Marked so that you could keep me company. Much as it'd be a comfort, and maybe even make me safer, in some ways, I think I would be a pretty selfish person to want anyone I cared about be put into such a risky position. At least Ron can't be legilimised. You still can.

Also, I'm not married to Ron.

[alt_justin]

I'm not trying to do anything other than end this dashed corrupt and evil excuse for a government and see to it that Voldemort and his band of murderers and maniacs never hurt anyone again. If that means being Marked, well, as Draco said last year, I'm not jolly well eager for it, for any of it, what, but it's something that must be done. It's no worse in its way than what I've already been doing with Antonin. I'm bally well not going to shirk, that's for certain.

Nor have I ever felt comfortable allowing you to assume all the risk, even with your perfect Occlumency. There are others on the Council who can't fully Occlude, either. They manage and so must I do. Can you imagine me turning it down?

Tell the truth, you're just cross because you'll have to get used to sharing the glory of being the Order's mole. All those excellent parties and gifts and the Order clucking over you and telling you 'We wish you didn't have to do this.' Ah, now we see the real Hydra!

No, you're not married to Ron, thank God. But that means that where you go, so do I.

-J

[alt_hydra]

Sorry, Justin, but all the teasing in the world won't make me smile at the thought of you having the Mark.

I realise I can't do anything to stop it if it happens, but I won't rejoice. Not even close.

But if it happens and you want your special lessons, you'll have them.

[alt_justin]

Cheer up, love, it might not be for long. And now you know how I feel about your Mark, as well.

I could use a special lesson now, as it happens. I don't suppose we dare, though. In fact, I had best be thinking about sleep.

I've two N.E.W.T.s tomorrow, what, including the Astronomy practical which means staying up at least this late, and then Defence first thing in the morning the day after that.

Six weeks to go and we'll be done. I say, where shall we live when we're gone from here? You're not going to St James.

-J

[alt_hydra]

I should sleep, too. Though I'm more likely to just remain here and think.

Who said I want to go back to St James? Not I. Maybe I'll have earned myself a big fancy Manor House by then? Though I don't suppose that's very likely.

(I wonder who Spencer House belongs to, now? I suppose it must be Daddy).

Anyway, things to think about for later. When exams are over and everyone has their wands back.

[alt_justin]

You're too clever by half, not falling for any of my ruses. Here I thought writing to you would help conceal my wicked purposes.

Ah, well.

Sleep does seem in order. Perhaps tomorrow before the evening Astronomy exam we can find a quiet, out of the way corner. Or even book the salle and tell everyone we're working. And not-talk.

Meanwhile, you are more dear to me than I can express. I love you.

Sweet dreams, my beautiful Mrs Finch-Fletchley.

Your

-Justin

[alt_hydra]

I would bore you if I were dull and not clever.

Goodnight, Justin. I love you, too.